I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i came on her dog
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
