Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
