Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
time to smoke my breakfast
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
