I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
