you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
