so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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