So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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