Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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