the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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