It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
