I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
