I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize