what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize