The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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