there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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