I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
