remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So vagazzling was a success
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
