my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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