You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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