She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
