I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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