porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
