I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
