i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize