we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
