I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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