Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
