will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
