you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
