also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
