She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
