I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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