He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
