PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
