you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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