is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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