We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
