Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize