he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
