somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
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I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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