My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
