Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
