We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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