i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
