Who wears a wallet chain?!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
