I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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