Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize