Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
