He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Randomize
