Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
