Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.