Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I am puke

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  (617): I am puke http://tfl.nu/8ec4
  Replies (2) Good night (929) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  they said they heard you say put it in my butt

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  (207): they said they heard you say put it in my butt http://tfl.nu/b3wk
  Replies (21) Good night (4443) Bad night (2670)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.

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  (612): I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda. http://tfl.nu/fjuw
  Replies (111) Good night (6790) Bad night (2556)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

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  (224): States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby. http://tfl.nu/to2g
  Replies (49) Good night (4256) Bad night (1360)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)

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  (660): My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :) http://tfl.nu/iyqj
  Replies (21) Good night (6071) Bad night (1661)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

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  (814): I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was. http://tfl.nu/qrct
  Replies (39) Good night (1879) Bad night (5477)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.

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  (773): I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced. http://tfl.nu/90fx
  Replies (25) Good night (5532) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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  (703): This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar. http://tfl.nu/4fqp
  Replies (9) Good night (2524) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg

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  (509): I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg http://tfl.nu/tr8k
  Replies (6) Good night (2310) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.

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  (267): This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this. http://tfl.nu/d3gm
  Replies (6) Good night (2405) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.

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  (765): I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it. http://tfl.nu/7uod
  Replies (9) Good night (1982) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.

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  (305): I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel. http://tfl.nu/egxv
  Replies (3) Good night (1404) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing

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  (617): Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing http://tfl.nu/5l2y
  Replies (5) Good night (1065) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar

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  (303): I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar http://tfl.nu/zhfq
  Replies (1) Good night (1120) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!

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  (410): Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way! http://tfl.nu/jf3p
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (279)

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