Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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