It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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