Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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