pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
