my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
