Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
